Should you tell your best friend you like them? 174 women said this...
One of our followers asked this:
Is love or just admiration?
This is the part of his message that stood out most to me:
"I just never felt anything sexually or romantically even though I think she's really hot."
Something shifted when she started showing up more fully as herself. Her confidence grew, she leaned into who she is, and suddenly he sees her very differently.
He's attracted to who she's becoming. Albeit sweet, this concerns me. How can he be so sure that this newfound admiration will last? And is it worth potentially ruining a long term friendship over? Personally, I don't know how I feel about this. I do believe he genuinely feels this way, but feelings can change…
174 women voted and 87% of these women said…
Although the overwhelming majority of women who voted said to tell her, my suggestion would be to give it more time. Not because the feelings aren't real (they clearly are) but because they are also new. There is a difference between falling for someone and being fascinated by their growth and confidence. Both are valid, but only one is a foundation for a relationship. I would ask: was it her confidence specifically, or is it her as a whole person? Because if it's tied mostly to this new version of her, what happens if she goes through a difficult period and that confidence dips? Will the feelings still be there?
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A 10-year friendship is rare… Not everyone gets to have someone who knows them that deeply and still chooses them every day, and that's worth protecting. But I completely understand why the overwhelming majority of women said to "tell her”. We all hope that one day our partner will also be our best friend. And what a perfect start to forever if they already are… The idea that the love of your life was right under your nose the entire time? It’s the kind of story you tell at your wedding, the kind people lean in to hear. Some risks are worth taking, and the ones that could turn your favorite person into your forever person might be the most worth it of all.
How to tell if your best friend likes you (before you confess):
Before you pour your heart out, look for signs first. This is the tricky part, because if she hasn't put you on her romantic radar yet, the signals might be borderline invisible. She's not flirting with you, she's just... being your best friend.
Instead of looking at her behavior alone, widen the lens. Some of the best signs come from the people around her. Does her family talk about you positively, unprompted? Do they save you a seat, ask about you when you're not there, or (the holy grail) openly joke that they wish you two were together? Families sometimes say the quiet part out loud. Also pay attention to who she turns to first. If you're her first call for good news, bad news, and a spiral, you're already occupying the space a partner usually does, and that's what makes someone unforgettable. Notice whether she ever initiates plans, chooses you over other options, and lingers when she could leave.
And if you've looked for the signs and you're still not sure? That doesn't automatically mean don't. It just means you're standing in front of a genuinely scary decision, and if our Instagram community has taught me anything, it's that the scary decisions are usually the ones that change everything.
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Stephanie
