75+ People Share the Scary Decision That Changed Their Life

75+ People Share the Scary Decision That Changed Their Life (and why I need to read this more than anyone)

I have to be honest with you, I started this post thinking I was writing it for you. I finished it realizing I was writing it for me. If you don’t want to read my cathartic words, scroll on to read all 75+ responses. No offense taken. Remember I said I was writing this for moi?😜

There is a city that has been living rent free in my head for years. I have been there four times. Each time I land, something immediately shifts. The energy is palpable in a way I can't fully explain. The streets, the buildings stacked on top of each other like the city ran out of room and just kept going anyway, the noise, the feeling that something is always happening just around the corner. I romanticize everything about it (can you tell? 😆). New York feels like she knows my name and she’s calling me home to a place I have never actually lived.

And yet, here I am. Born and raised in San Diego. Went to college in San Diego (University of San Diego). Have never lived alone. Have never packed up my life and moved somewhere that didn't already have every familiar thing I've ever known waiting for me.

The truth is, I am terrified… quite literally petrified. Not of New York, of what it means to actually go. To be alone in a city where nobody really knows me and nothing is familiar. I have never done that. I’ve never truly felt alone. I understand loneliness in thoughts and experiences (we all do), but physically alone? Truly, completely on my own? I don't actually know what that feels like. I am incredibly close with my family and have a handful of close friendships. The idea of not having that as a physical constant is something I genuinely cannot fully conceptualize yet. My nervous system has very loud opinions about it.

I can already picture myself at 80; filled with regret, deeply saddened by the life, experiences and version of myself I never got to meet in New York City. That future version of me, full of what ifs, (I think, and I hope) is more terrifying than any disgustingly overpriced apartment in SoHo could ever be.

So I asked our Instagram audience a question I wanted answered.

"What's something you were scared to do that ended up being the best thing you ever did?"

And then 75+ people answered. I organized the responses into four categories. The most common one will not shock you, though the last one might… This last one is the most interesting to me because people were just as scared to leave a relationship as they were to start one.

Moves & Relocation

• "Leaving my hometown"

• "Move to San Diego"

• "Move to Italia"

• "Move to another country"

• "Moved from Australia to the US - been here 16 years and a decision I'll never regret"

• "Moved out of state"

• "Move to New York"

• “Moved to San Diego from NYC”

• "Moved to New York City for a couple of years"

• "Quit my job, moved to Barcelona for a year"

• "Move to SoCal shortly after my separation"

• "Moving to a more expensive city, starting jiu jitsu, and having kids"

• "Left San Diego"

• “Moving out of my home state!”

• "Moved to San Diego from Redding CA"

• "Move across the country, took 10 days to drive and stopped at different national parks along the way"

Career & Business

• “Getting fired”

• “Grad school”

• "Quit job, paraglided all over the world for 2 years"

• "Change careers"

• "Quitting my job to start a business"

• “Promoting from a firefighter to a company officer”

• “Starting my cannabis business for all that I learned! Sadly, not for the $$”

• “Starting my own business”

• "Start my company/take my company full time"

• "Leave my job as a teacher for a new career"

• "Start my law firm"

• "Quit my job and go back to school to get my PhD"

• "Took a job I was underqualified for"

• "Going to the fire academy"

• "Become a pilot. Invest in yourself."

Personal Growth & Adventure

• "LASIK surgery"

• "Brazilian Juijitsu"

• "Snowboarding"

• "Skydiving" (mentioned x3)

• "Rappelling in the alps"

• “Travel around the country solo.”

• "Scuba diving. Terrified of water and discovered a whole new world"

• "Write a book :)"

• "Went back to school"

• "Solo travel"

• "Started learning photography and flying drones"

• "Started playing piano at age 50. Hard but so glad I did. Opened up another side of me"

• "Musical theater 🎭 just lead a show in my first show ever I'm still on cloud 9"

• "Started raving in my 30's. Helped me become more outgoing. Sober raver now"

• "Spark a conversation with strangers"

• "Just tell the truth instead of making up stories to get around it. People respect you more"

• "Allow myself to tear down the walls that my ex built in my brain"

• "Leaving my mentally abusive business partner"

• "Botox"

• "Dmt"

• "Playing in a Father/Son baseball tournament a few years ago. I ended up playing 3 years in a row"

Love & Letting Go

• "Ethical Non-Monogamy"

• “Marrying my second wife”

• "Got married"

• "Asked my friend out"

• “Finally leaving my ex who has narcissistic traits”

• "Ask the girl out 😜"

• “Trying again after being cheated on”

• "Walking away from my marriage to a narcissist"

• "Divorce" (mentioned x3)

• "Dating my former student"

• "Get divorced"

• "Getting divorced"

• "First divorce"

• "Fly 11 hours from the US to Germany for a first date"

• "Sent a nude to my now wife 🤣"

• "Have a child"

• "Become a father"

• "Become a dad!"

The responses didn't surprise me. But they did something else… they reminded me that fear has never once been a good enough reason not to. Every single person on that list was scared. And every single person on that list did it anyway. Nobody waited until they weren't afraid. They just decided that what was waiting on the other side was worth more than the comfort of staying exactly where they were. I don't know exactly when I'm moving to New York. But I know that I will. And I know that when I do, I won't be waiting until I'm not scared. Because that day is never coming.

Thank you to everyone who shared. It means more than you know.

If you're still here, DM me on Instagram “coffee please” and I'll Venmo you for a coffee. This is equal parts gratitude and selfishness. Gratitude because you read my words and made it to the end. Selfish because now I get to know who actually did 😜.

With love,
Stephanie