How to tell your partner her bestie downstairs smells

As you know by now, our Instagram community can ask almost anything and receive anonymous crowdsourced insight on various topics. This insight expands our awareness, compassion, and intellect by considering different perspectives and experiences.

The Question:

Poor hygiene/ bad odors are extremely repelling. We've relied on our senses for survival. Good smells compel us to seek pleasurable rewards (food, partner choice, sex, etc.). Repelling odors warn us of danger (toxic fumes, diseases, rotten food, etc.).

I think ANY girl would be MORTIFIED if they were the girl in this scenario. But I would absolutely want to know, especially if it’s something I can change.

Let’s educate ourselves before we get into how to approach this sensitive topic with our partner.

The thought that vagina’s are supposed to smell “good” 24/7 is a foolish. There are many factors that can affect the way our bestie downstairs smells. It can change based on what we eat, drink, what clothes we wear, if we’re stressed, our level of hygiene, how much we sweat, our normal bacteria, if we’re menstruating, and what our glands secrete.

But vagina’s aren’t supposed to smell fishy or rotten… if they do, there might be a causation on a micro-level…

A LOT of women brought up the possibility of this girl having BV: Bacterial vaginosis (BV) is a common condition in women. It happens when the normal balance of micro-organisms in the vagina gets disrupted. BV can spread through sexual contact. The risk of getting BV increases when having sexual contact with new partners, and from not using condoms.

I can imagine how uncomfortable and awkward having a conversation like this could be. But if you genuinely like this person and want to continue exploring things with them, this is a conversation that needs to be had. I recommend trying to keep the conversation very kind and non-accusatory as this topic can make ANY woman extremely self-conscious.

How to tell your partner her vagina smells bad:

(This is not the best-sounding headline I’ve ever written, I AM AWARE, but it is for SEO purposes so, please, bare with me here 😂.)

If the smell hasn’t washed away with a soapy shower, and now knowing this could potentially be BV is incredibly useful information for approaching this sensitive topic. It also helps lessen the accusation that it’s coming from your partner, or that it’s their fault/ lack of personal hygiene.

If you were the concerned partner in this scenario you could say something along these lines:

“I know that sometimes new partner’s can throw off each other’s normal bacteria/ fluids. I noticed a smell during sex. Is that normal for you?” You can also go into actually knowing about BV and how new partners can throw off the normal bacterias and that getting it checked out would be best. Maybe even try to take some blame for it if you’re the new partner 😅🤣.

Read this insight directly from 40+ women that could help you come up with a response you’re comfortable with:

(Zoom in/ out to read and click the arrows to see more)

I hope this insight and these responses from women helps you if you ever find yourself in this situation. If you ever are in this situation, please try your best to approach it with education, kindness, reassurance, and ZERO judgement.

If you have more topic requests, send them via DM! @StephanieDaily

xX,
Stephanie