Question: “When a guy shoots his shot via DMs, what’s the first thing women look for on his profile?”

Men underestimate a woman’s intuition and her investigative work. The second a guy approaches us (online or in person) we begin subconsciously and consciously vetting him.

We stalk e v e r y t h i n g. But the most common response from majority of women was that they look at who a guy is following.

Scrolling through a guy’s ‘following’ list is very telling. In many cases, it tells a story of fantasy, desires, and past— a pattern. We are looking for a man’s pattern: who he’s attracted to, what he’s attracted to and how he’s spending his time. If the majority of his ‘following list’ is flooded with women, Instagram models, Only Fans creators, etc… the general consensus is that this behavior is a red flag. Some other keywords associated with this behavior were: turn off, immature, cringe, and hypersexualization.

Read some of the responses from over 100 women that wrote in:
(Zoom in to read and click the side arrows to scroll through!)

You are what you consume.

“Your Instagram feed is a reflection of your mind.” - Community member

“That he has an unrealistic view of what “beauty” really is and I can never live up to that.” - Community member

You are what you consume. This absolutely includes the content you’re looking at. I understand men are highly visual beings. But the issue here is that the majority of women, specifically Instagram models, are subtlety or heavily editing their pictures. And in turn, this is the type of visuals people are filling their conscious and subconscious mind with.

Side thought:

It’s intimate knowledge to ask/ know someone’s type, is it not? And yet, social media puts it ALL on display. I don’t think people, specifically men, understand the impression of their digital footprint. Depending on your public or private profile, almost anyone can see what pictures you like, what accounts you follow and engage with. I love that social media gives us immediate insight into someone’s life but the issue with scrolling through someone’s pixels is that we are coming up with our own judgements from our point of reality, not theirs. Men may think that following 200+ instagram models isn’t an issue. Women may think that a man following 200+ IG models means that this is his type, and his (delusional) beauty standard for women.

“Love when a guy follows pages about their interest or self growth. It shows where their mind is at.” - Community member

This such a refreshing perspective. Personally, I’d love to know that a guy I was interested in is following self-growth accounts, golf content, his interests (aside from half naked women), business/ industry-related content, *guy* fitness trainers, my content😏, etc… Accounts that are positively contributing to his growth and trajectory.

A message for men:

Depending on who you’re trying to attract, and if you’re looking for a relationship, the collective advice is to unfollow random IG models (especially if they don’t follow you back😂).

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic/ article. Comment them below :).

xX,
Stephanie