Sep 25

Sep 25 How long should sex and foreplay last? 2,300 People answer

How long do men and women want sex and foreplay to last? According to 2,300+ people

Ask and you shall receive. Our community wanted to know: how long should sex last for men and women? I ran two polls with over 2,300 people to find out. One focused on the average length of sex people actually want, and the other on how long foreplay should last (because you shouldn’t measure one without the other).

How long do men and women want sex to last?
(NOT including foreplay)

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Here’s where the differences show: Men skew longer: over 1 in 5 men (22%) want sex to last 20+ minutes, compared to 15% of women. But both groups strongly agree that 11–20 minutes is the sweet spot for both.

How long do men and women want foreplay to last before having sex?

Takeaway: Both men and women are strikingly aligned here. Around 70% of both genders prefer 6–20 minutes of foreplay. This would be enough to build anticipation, not so long it drags. Only a small group (13–15%) want longer foreplay sessions, and roughly the same proportion are fine with a quick warm-up.

Why foreplay and clitoral stimulation matter more than lasting longer:

It’s not just about how long things should last, it’s about what you do with that time. Fun fact (or maybe not so fun for some): about 75% of women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. Translation? Clitoral stimulation isn’t optional. Without it, most women won’t finish.

Which is why foreplay matters. A lot. And why toys can make the difference between good and unforgettable. Bring one into the bedroom and suddenly the whole experience hits different… for both of you.

Curious what happens when you bring in a toy into the bedroom? My friend reviewed the new LELO Switch. Read her review here.

Related article: How often do men and women want oral sex?