Why does he keep watching your instagram stories after a breakup?
133 Men Share Why They Watch Your Instagram Stories After It’s Over:
Breakups used to end with silence. Now they end with story views. Social media keeps us tethered to people we should be untangling from… and it turns every breakup into a slow scroll of who’s watching who. It’s even worse when you’re the one intentionally posting for them to see, or refreshing to check if they’ve viewed… Because at that point, you’re not healing, you’re performing.
Your peace and time are invaluable.
If you’re posting in hopes your ex sees it, or refreshing your story views to check if they did, it’s already costing you too much. Personally, that’s when I know it’s time to remove or block them. I don’t see it as weakness. I see it as a boundary. And truthfully, I could care less what they think of me blocking them. Their opinion is no longer my business. They’ve lost the privilege to be in my life, so why would give them a courtside seat to watch it?
So WHY does your ex watch your Instagram stories after the break up?
Why do men keep watching your stories after it’s over? I asked 133 men this exact question… and the answers fell into four clear categories. To read all 133 responses, scroll on.
1. Curiosity & Validation (31%)
The most common reason? Plain curiosity.
Some men want to see if you’ve upgraded or downgraded, if you’ve moved on, or if you’re happier without them. Watching stories becomes a way of gathering intel; a digital check-in to compare your life against theirs.
“To see if you’ve upgraded or downgraded.”
“Checking on you to see if you’ve moved on.”
”I like to follow the insanity of women after I stopped dating.”
It’s not really about you. It’s about them looking for validation. It’s reassurance they didn’t lose out, or confirmation they’re still relevant in your world.
2. Boredom & Algorithm (27%)
27% of these men admitted it’s just pure boredom, lazy scrolling, or the algorithm serving your content without them seeking it out.
“It’s part of the algorithm. It just comes up.”
“Sometimes I’ll just be clicking through stories when on the toilet.”
Translation: Nothing more, nothing less. They’re not watching you, they’re watching whatever comes up next.
3. Lingering Feelings & Emotional Attachment (24%)
For others, it’s deeper. Some men keep watching because they still care, can’t let go, or are processing the breakup in slow motion.
“Still in love.”
“Because there is that part of us that wanted you to be the one. Can’t let it go.”
And here’s where science comes in: a study published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking found that keeping tabs on an ex online is strongly linked to greater distress, longing, and less personal growth. In other words, the more you watch, the harder it is to heal.
4. Ego & Jealousy (18%)
Some men watch stories to keep a presence in your life, to make sure you’re not “winning” without them, or simply to see you in a bikini. It’s less about connection, and more about control.
“To make sure you’re still miserable without us.”
“Because you are hot and they want to see you in a bikini.”
Ego-driven views aren’t about love or care (for you), they’re about insecurity.
133 men share why they still view their ex’s instagram stories:
2 reasons — Vindication and entertainment.
We’re curious if she took our money and got that ass lift.
Still in love.
Not every breakup is bad. I am still friends with a few.
Lingering feelings.
Curiosity… you are back to normal person status.
Either it’s just part of the lineup of story viewing or to see what they are up to / enjoying life.
Lonely.
Still interested.
You can’t fix dumb.
Pure boredom.
It’s part of the algorithm. It just comes up.
To see if you’ve upgraded or downgraded with any new partner.
We’re not watching it, it just pops up and I scroll by, but IG counts it as a view.
We covet what we don’t have even though we didn’t want it in the first place — toxic nostalgia.
Probably still has a thing for you.
Sometimes I still like them as a person and wanna watch them do well.
If you ghost them and still watch stories you’re a psycho.
Curiosity.
Fascinated with the lie you’re selling! Are we posting? Nope.
Because it’s hard to let go.
Unless he’s physically searching for it, then that’s just self-harm to himself.
It just appears on the feed, don’t overthink it.
I don’t know why other men do it. I don’t.
Maybe they got what they want, the chase is over. But you were fun and they keep tabs for different reasons.
Checking on you to see if you’ve moved on.
Women do the same!
See if we made the right decision.
It’s there.
I’d like to ask the same thing to women, + their sisters, mothers & cousins still watching mine.
Weak men.
It’s not deep. We don’t want you if we ghost you. If we then watched your reels we were taking a shit.
It’s not that deep. Sometimes I just continue to scroll through the stories on the feed.
Open this to everyone! A girl I was really into just did the same thing to me!
I go no contact and remove my exes from all social media. I like a clean break!
Lack of closure and dwelling on mistakes made during the relationship.
For the same reason women do. To see if they’re able to move on or not. Humans are built that way.
Cuz you’re cute and we’re curious.
Bored.
Curious….
If it ended smoothly I still valued them as friends despite it not working romantically.
The same reason women do.
Keeping tabs to see if they missed on something.
Feels.
Some guys still like to learn, which is weird. When it’s over, it’s over… for me at least.
Usually, we’re just flipping through stories and yours pops up.
To see if they upgraded or downgraded.
I don’t, I block and ghost. It’s as if I don’t exist anymore. Haha.
Not me. Unfriending/unfollowing is the rule.
Because you are hot and they want to see you in a bikini.
Just because something was good doesn’t mean it was right. Letting good go is hard because it’s right.
Some don’t, unfriend and no contact.
Because there’s always a time we want to look back.
We want what we can’t have.
Curious what you’re doing. Duh.
Curiosity mostly… if she was good maybe slight jealousy.
Curiosity.
Either we miss them or want them back or just want to see how they’re doing.
Keep tabs; see how you’re doing.
It’s not that deep. Just wanna check if I can still hit.
FOMO!
I like to follow the insanity of women after I stopped dating.
They’re having trouble letting go — only reason I could think of.
Because they still love you?
A break up doesn’t mean we hate each other. Would still stay in touch and be friends.
Who “watched” your stories does not 1:1 correlate to that person’s attention on you.
I “watch” stories usually while I’m cooking or doing laundry, etc. I don’t see half of them.
Because there is that part of us that wanted you to be the one. Can’t let it go.
Curious how she’s doing without you.
Also, to see if they have moved on already.
Kinda curious as to why my ex gf still looks at mine, likes the pictures/vids and still texts me!
If it was serious, I don’t keep watching or following.
Because it comes up on our feed if we still follow you.
Gotta make sure you made the right decision.
Still friends.
Curiosity.
Can’t relate so can’t help but commenting so you have the data.
Horny.
Ask women too. Ended 7 months ago. Unfollowed but she still watch my stories.
Yes.
Just there after following, not like we are analyzing or paying attention.
Women definitely do it too! Just wanna see what they’re up to.
Too lazy to delete.
I got no clue, I remove my exes when the relationship ends… why do that to myself?
Women do the same.
Torturing yourself on what could have been.
We shouldn’t be. It’s obvious he still has feelings for her.
Rent free living 🧠
Confirmation we made the right choice.
See if you’ve improved.
First, I don’t ghost, I talk things out. Second, I genuinely want good things for them.
I was wondering the same thing about you.
Because she used to post stuff that felt like secret messages toward me.
For the memories.
Voyeurism! Validating what you gave up! To see when they’re over you! Many reasons!
Making sure we made the right choices 🤣
I don’t. Once it’s done, it’s done. I move on especially if she cheated or lost interest.
The same reasons you do.. 👀
Loaded question. Why are they still IG friends? Is there a new person in the equation? (x,y,z,t)
To see what they’re missing.
We skip to the next story until we realize we want to do something else. That’s it.
Still interested, interesting content, or maybe honest friendship wanted afterwards.
Pu**y whipped bruised ego is why. From 1 dude to another it’s over, fook off & move on.
Jealousy or spite. Depends on the breakup.
😂 need to know what you sharing to the world.
Nostalgia. The idea that you can still go back if you wanted, since you’re not blocked. Reminders.
Never been in that situation, but most of the time girls break the relationship. Feelings are still there.
We feel our feelings until the day comes where we are healed and ready to move on.
Curiosity.
To see if you’re dating someone else and what you’re up to.
If she left, it’s the unhealthy hope and cling to “fantasy.” If I leave I don’t check sh*t. ✌🏼
Women do this too! A girl just sent me a meme about this cause she was doing it to me lol.
To see how the next victim looks like lol.
Prove to ourselves if we fumbled it or made the right decision.
By accident.
I’ve heard my girl friends say it’s dramatic if we unfollow.
It’s just there to look at. Remove me if don’t want to be seen.
Shows support if you’re still friends. Otherwise we are checking if you were full of sh*t.
Accident, just keeps popping up. Lot of the time just click right through it 🤣
Because watching or liking someone’s story isn’t THAT DEEP. 😂
Because we know you care and you’ll let us crack again because you didn’t block us.
Sometimes I just be clicking through stories when on the toilet.
I don’t. I unfollow. So let’s poll instead of generalize a blanket statement.
Entertainment value?
Because we want to know how she’s doing by the posts that she makes. Because I still usually care.
Cause IG literally has all the stories at the top of the feed & you have no idea whose next.
Just because it’s over doesn’t mean we don’t miss parts. Maybe it’s your legs or laugh.
To see if we’re doing better than you or if your new boyfriend is better than us.
To make sure you’re still miserable without us 😭
We don’t.
We break up slow. Women break up and feel it fast. Men break up and slowly move on over a long period.
I try not to. But sometimes pops up next. Then it’s too late.
Because women can turn off feelings like a tap, guys take longer to repress their feelings.
If you found this article insightful, follow me on Instagram! I’m contstatnly polling our audience and sharing the responese/ insight.
xX,
Stephanie
