Why You Were Most Likely Ghosted
There are various levels of ghosting and we fully intend to elaborate on all of them. If you have been ghosted, do not take it personally. Thank this person for removing themselves from your life because in all honesty, ghosting has little to do with you and everything to do with them, their intentions, level of maturity and their inability to communicate. Everyone’s time and energy is precious; if they aren’t being straightforward, you might as well be! I promise it will allow you to put the time and energy into someone who will reciprocate.
There is something that needs to be said to the Ghostee… If you are sending unsolicited selfies, asking for them, giving “it” up too easily, sending romance novels via text, pursuing after they’ve said no, overusing emojis and/or trying to impress through materialistic objects - please be warned that these things WILL most likely lead to being ghosted. Social decency and self-respect have a lasting impression believe it or not ☺️.
Breaking the Ice
This is when you are attempting to start a conversation in hopes of seeing this person in the flesh.
Girl Ghoster: She most likely checked out your social media platforms shortly after receiving your message and was unimpressed due to the lack of quality pictures of yourself or too many pictures of your car named Ryder. She didn’t feel the need to respond because: A.) She does not know you. B.) She doesn’t care to get to know you. C.) She has a boyfriend. In any case, I would recommend breaking the ice by saying something witty instead of “hey, whats up 😜”.
Guy Ghoster: If you are the first to start the conversation, you’ve pretty much already lost. But if you are total strangers and you really want to break the ice, it shouldn’t take much more than a “Hi”. If he is single and attracted to you, he will engage in the conversation.
Chatty Cathy/Carl
You respond to this person’s stories/snaps and always have something new to chat about but they never respond or they never add anything to the conversation.
Girl Ghoster: Dear Carl, she isn’t engaging in your conversation because she is not interested. When your last 3 DMs to this ghoster say, “You replied to their story” — STOP replying to their stories. If someone isn’t going to take even a second to respond to your message, this probably isn’t someone you should waste another minute crafting a message to.
Guy Ghoster: Basically same as the girl situation. If you are attempting conversation and they aren’t responding then it’s almost definitely total non-interest. Small chance it’s them already being fairly serious with someone else and not wanting to get caught showing interest in you but in those cases most guys are still going to give some sort of response that keeps the conversation alive while remaining innocent enough to cover their tracks.
The Floater
This ghost is one you simply cannot get to commit to a simple hangout/date. They engage in conversations and make it seem like they are interested in hanging out but you have never actually hung out.
Girl Ghoster: A.) She likes the attention you are giving her but never intends on hanging out. B.) She genuinely might be interested in you but not enough to make a sincere effort. C.) She has a boyfriend. Rip that bandaid off—I recommend being straightforward with your intentions, whether it be a casual meet-up or a date. Also, give this floater an exact day instead of loosely asking her to “hang out sometime,” that’s too easy for us to dodge. **If this person claims to be too busy to hang out and does not pose a different day, this ghost is plotting a fadeout**.
Guy Ghoster: Definitely some combination of already having a girl and wanting to keep options open for the future. The dynamic also just shouldn’t really work in this direction though. If the girl is the one trying to get the guy to hangout and he’s not immediately accepting then she has already lost.
Boohoo :(
You went on a date with this person (one or more times) and you haven’t heard from them since or they are giving you the ole fadeout. Classic, but not classy.
Girl Ghoster: Many things could have gone south for this person to cut ties but when it comes down to it, if she’s no longer talking to you, or slowly fading, you are 100% being ghosted for the sole reason that she is not into it anymore. Maybe it was your table-side manners, you’re all beauty and no brains, she kept her options open, you talked too little, you talked too much without asking her any questions; honestly, the possibilities are endless. Nonetheless, you should be forward and ask why the sudden radio silence. Hopefully she’s an honest ghost who will be forward with you.
Guy Ghoster: It really just comes down to sex. If you had sex on the first date that can (somewhat paradoxically) cause a guy to immediately lose interest, mostly due to feeling like it was “too easy”. If it was that easy for me, it was probably that easy for dozens of other guys. If you didn’t hook up at all then he might estimate that it’s going to take far too much time and resource investment to ever get to sex and can lose interest for that reason too. The sweet spot in order to keep him interested is to make him feel like sex is on the near horizon but it’s going to be just a little bit of a challenge to get there.
If you're still questioning whether you're being ghosted or toyed with, please message me. I would love nothing more than to help you realize why you shouldn't be wasting your time trying to figure out if either of the two are happening to you. ☺️
THANK YOU - to everyone who shared their input! And one last thank you to "The Bachelor" for collabing with me on this post!
